CQ-E-0314-LT  //  UNSENT  //  4 PP  //  CARRIED

Written year three, the winter, on an island I won't name.
Four copies, one for each family. Never posted.
Typed out from the carried copy. Names blanked. Nothing else changed.
Read aloud in transmission 07.

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Dear ______,

I don't want to say your names.

I'm sorry it's taken so long for this letter. I'm sorry for everything
you've been through. I'm sorry that you lost ______.

I've written and rewritten this letter so many times I can't count.

Not that it's the most important thing to you, but I still think it's
important to note that I was not responsible for what happened that
night. I've been blamed and I've been framed, as it were.

The reason I haven't sent this is that sometimes I think you may have
found some kind of small closure from having someone to blame for a
careless mistake. And the reason I haven't sent this is I don't want
you to lose that. Because maybe that's more important than me clearing
my name. Because once I clear my name, all of a sudden you've lost your
closure.

Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe I wasn't being selfish. Maybe that's why
I spent eight years without trying to prove my innocence. I've been on
the run like a coward for eight years, and I'm sorry. You and your
family deserve more.

______ was an incredible man of the water. An incredible man of his own
craft. He was kind and hilarious. An absolute professional at what he
did, but he also operated as if he knew how important it was for life
to be lived.

I will be handing myself in once all of the evidence has landed
correctly. And then I will join in helping to track down the person and
people that are responsible.

Once again, I'm sorry I didn't do this earlier. And I'm also sorry that
I'm doing this at all, potentially extending your need for closure.

That's all I can bring myself to say for now. Hopefully one day I'll
get to meet you and give the entire family a hug.

______

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It never went. Transmission 07 says why.